?

Log in

No account? Create an account

Aaaand, here comes the Agonising Pain - Tactical Ninja

Jan. 10th, 2013

10:22 am - Aaaand, here comes the Agonising Pain

Previous Entry Share Next Entry

What I didn't tell you yesterday about Pretzel Class was that Tuesday is also the day I see DoomBoy, and this being the start of the New Year, he ran me through a new programme, which involves a session of intensive core work and a session of targeted weights training. I will be doing these on my own as my sessions with him are usually super-heavy (for me) weights that require a spotter or I'd drop them on my head. However, the exercises had names like Skull Crushers, Iron Cross Dance, and Cable Swim, and I had no idea what those are. So he ran me through them. All of them. Then I went to Pretzel Class.

Now I am ded. Or, parts of me are - weird parts, like the muscles between my ribs WTF? And in my armpits! Who the hell has muscles in their armpits? Anyway, I failed yesterday - I was supposed to do a bunch of running and I only did half a bunch before going "Fuck this for a game of soldiers" and going home to do some stretches instead because OH GOD OW. I'm not so hardcore as to not recognise when I should probably have a rest - at least, that's my excuse lalala...

Seems Greer's Class of Agonising Pain is not so inaptly(?) named after all.


This is about exactly what it says on the box, and contains descriptions. You have been warned.

Yesterday I logged into Twitter for the first time in a few days. I don't read Twitter all that often because I often find that a day on Twitter adds +3 Rage to my usual stats and I can live without that, you know? But anyway, there was a hashtag floating around - #shoutingback - that was getting some airtime, so I went and had a look.

Turns out it was people (mostly women) telling stories of ways in which they have been harrassed on the street by random strangers (mostly men) who for some reason feel entitled to approach strange women and engage them. Looking this morning, it's mostly people saying "Hey go look at this if you don't believe street harrassment happens." It's.. sobering reading. I only managed to read about 30 before I had to stop because +3 Rage, -3 Objectivity.

At the time, I was thinking how lucky I am not to have been subjected to much street harrassment. It's not a big thing here - at least, not in comparison to the way it seems to happen in other countries. However, I suspect that's a subjective viewpoint, and also as I was walking to work this morning I realised that maybe it's a bigger thing than I'd originally thought, because I remembered two occasions that hadn't clicked in my memory yesterday - the first time it happened and the most recent.

The first time: I was maybe 8 or 9 and was walking home from school. I had to pass a supermarket and it just so happened that the parking lot of the supermarket and associated recycling bins was where the older kids chose to hang out after school. As I walked past, I noticed several young guys standing around. They spotted me and started yelling stuff at me, like "Hey girl, we're going to rape you!" I had no idea if they meant it or not but I'd heard about stranger danger so I ignored them and kept walking. They started coming after me, going "We're coming for you now, we're going to rape you!" And I started running. Instead of going home, I ran to my brother's friend's house which was closer. I don't think they followed me because really, they could have caught me - they were twice my size. When I got there I told Peter's folks what happened and they called my Mum who came and got me. That was the end of it - I had no idea who the boys were or what to do about it anyway. So I tucked it away. Chances are they were just being jerks, trying to scare me and picking on someone to make themselves feel big. However, I was fucking 8! And this group of young men were threatening me with rape on the street as a form of entertainment for themselves.

The most recent: A couple of weeks ago I was walking home from handbalancing, and I came to an intersection where a group of young men coming from a different direction joined the road I was walking on. We were positioned so I got to the road just before they did, and I ended up walking about 5 metres in front of them, going in the same direction. I could see they were fooling around, maybe had been drinking, and were 'giving each other shit' the way young guys do. But when I turned up, their tone changed and they started making comments just loud enough for me with my deaf ear to not-quite-hear, but obviously aimed at me. I ignored them, partly because I couldn't hear what they were saying anyway. This continued as we walked about 20 metres and across a crossing. Still behind me, they then changed to being louder and saying things like "Brrr, I'm so COLD!" and "She's made of ICE!" I kept ignoring them and they kept this up for another 20m or so, till I made a traffic light that they missed and got far enough ahead that they were out of earshot.

I wasn't afraid this time, partly because they seemed to not actually be serious, and partly because I was in a populated part of town where I could easily escape if it did turn nasty. But again, it was a group of men singling out a lone woman for unwanted attention, and behaving in a way that could be perceived as threatening. I also know that if I had been with a man, it probably wouldn't have happened. If I'd been with another woman it possibly would have. If I'd been a lone man? I don't know. Guys on here, have any of you experienced harrassment of this kind? I'm curious because while I can imagine scenarios where groups of young men entertain themselves by harrassing lone men, I've never actually seen it happen.

So, um, yeah. Maybe I've been subjected to more street harrassment than I originally thought. Certainly, before I ended up being followed by those young guys, I'd already seen them, assessed their state, figured they might be a problem, checked out potential escape routes and run through in my head how I might deal with it if they decided to be more than just jokers. And part of the reason for that is that when I was 8, a group of young guys gave me a good reason to assess my level of danger every time I'm alone in this situation - all in the name of their own entertainment.

As you can imagine, I'm not very receptive to folks saying I should be flattered by male attention when I'm by myself. Mostly I don't feel particularly threatened by it either - but that's only because I've already run through all the potential scenarios that could play out and figured out how I'll avoid them. It's certainly not a mindset that makes the attention welcome, eh? Just saying.


Meanwhile, since that wasn't a very fun topic, a comment from adam_0oo (who you should all go read cos he's dead entertaining) this morning suggested that unless I'm a comic book or a movie, he's unlikely to remember anything useful about me. Which got me thinking, if I were a comic book or a movie, which one would I be?

Tank Girl. Duh.

Anyway, I'm more interested in you. I'm sure there are Facebook memes that tell you this sort of thing, along with what colour you are, what crystal best represents you, and what line from My Little Pony - Friendship is Magic most sums up your life. But I want to know in your own words, and why. Or maybe you could do someone else.

Mostly it's just because I want movie and comic recommendations. Yep.

Comments:

Page 1 of 2
<<[1] [2] >>
[User Picture]
From:m_danson
Date:January 9th, 2013 09:47 pm (UTC)
(Link)
Mostly it's just because I want movie and comic recommendations. Yep.

I love Lucifer comics. The story and characters are complex and the story is inter-twined through the books in ways that aren't immediately obvious. Lucifer is a wonderful bastard.

Quote:
Mr. Easterman: I – have this terrible sense of –
Gaudium: I know. Like you're tied to the nosecone of a rocket and you look down and the rocket's got "Prototype" all down the side of it.
Mr. Easterman: Exactly.

There are days that absolutely feel like that.

Edited at 2013-01-09 09:48 pm (UTC)
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]
From:crsg
Date:January 9th, 2013 10:53 pm (UTC)
(Link)
Seconding the Lucifer comics! I don't even usually like comic books that much, but I devoured the series in record time.
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
(Deleted comment)
[User Picture]
From:tatjna
Date:January 9th, 2013 10:38 pm (UTC)
(Link)
Based on what I did on Tuesday, I think hanging from your arms will do it. O.o
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
(Deleted comment)
[User Picture]
From:tatjna
Date:January 9th, 2013 10:38 pm (UTC)
(Link)
Teres minor. Also, Pectoralis minor, and I think Transverse abdominis.

I have all the muscles, apparently.
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]
From:momlovesnoel
Date:January 9th, 2013 11:01 pm (UTC)
(Link)
Your posts always motivate me to go lift something heavy (heavier than a cookie)

Where do you get all of your energy?
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]
From:tatjna
Date:January 9th, 2013 11:05 pm (UTC)
(Link)
Dutch licorice. Dr Wheel has me addicted to the stuff.

Actually, I think it's because I have a sedentary job after having lived an extremely physically demanding life before that, so now I have this level of activity that I need to have to keep my head straight, what with all the thinking-not-moving I do for 8 hours a day. ;-)
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]
From:songindarkness
Date:January 9th, 2013 11:12 pm (UTC)
(Link)
I mostly ignore street harassment - but I once got spat on by some "jokers" on the bus. I didn't know what to do because I felt so threatened - when they were just talking I ignored them. I felt really awful afterwards - people asked me why I didn't shout at them and/or tell the driver - I was scared I guess. I wasn't *hurt* but I hope now I would say something and not sit there, paralysed.

If I could *choose* which comic I would be, I would be Sandman.
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]
From:tatjna
Date:January 9th, 2013 11:27 pm (UTC)
(Link)
Ugh, that's awful. Spitting on people? I wonder why the other people didn't shout at them or tell the driver, you know?
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]
From:bekitty
Date:January 9th, 2013 11:21 pm (UTC)
(Link)
There was a recent post on Animals Talking in All Caps that dealt with street harassment. I found it to be both entertaining and unsettling. Also, it had a capybara.

As far as comic book characters go, I definitely have moments of Delirium from Neil Gaiman's Sandman. Otherwise, I'm pretty much one of the extras in any crowd scene.

If I was able to have some kind of superpower, it'd be teleportation. No more hassles with airplanes or airports! No more passport issues! No need to worry about bus fares! Whee! \o/
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]
From:tatjna
Date:January 9th, 2013 11:22 pm (UTC)
(Link)
Shapeshifting. But not the Supernatural kind where you leave piles of ugly goo anywhere and can only become other people, more the True Blood kind where you can be anything you want. Yep.
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread) (Expand)
[User Picture]
From:blue_eye
Date:January 9th, 2013 11:23 pm (UTC)
(Link)
I had to seriously make myself read the stuff about street harassment. I have had a few incidences which are still difficult to talk about, even though both happened over 30 years ago. I was not raped, but one involved someone following me and another time I was grabbed by a drunk man. Both were before the age of 16.
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]
From:tatjna
Date:January 9th, 2013 11:26 pm (UTC)
(Link)
Yeah, that's the thing. I think people underestimate the impact and threat-generation of this kind of behaviour, partly because the victim is often not touched so 'it can't be that bad'. And that pisses me off because what it does is teach us to be afraid.
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread) (Expand)
[User Picture]
From:sophiawestern
Date:January 10th, 2013 12:42 am (UTC)
(Link)
I don't get harassed much on the street in the US, but in some of the developing countries I've visited it's like a constant commentary on my existence as I walk down the street.
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]
From:labelleizzy
Date:January 10th, 2013 01:48 am (UTC)
(Link)
My spouse wears a kilt on a daily basis and, when he used to commute on public transit, had bottles thrown at him and shouted insults from moving cars as he walked to the station. So that's one instance of the men getting harassed, in his case for daring to take an alternative mode of dressing.

I also had learned to be afraid very very early in life and used to concoct escape scenarios as a matter of course, almost pathologically.

Somehow in the last ten years I have learned to be unafraid and sure of myself.

but I still concoct escape scenarios. Even though I believe that proactive eye contact can keep something ugly from sprouting: "Yes, I see you, you over there. You are a person, same as I am a person." I don't do the "I ignore you and duck my head and turn up the sound on my music player" thing. I turn around and watch, and if I'm feeling something weird behind me, I may stop walking for a couple of moments to let someone pass me on the street, and I watch them till they go past.

I watch. It's a good tool. Hell, I like to look at people, now I'm not afraid of What THEY Will Think anymore (for various values of "THEY" including some Mrs. Grundy judgemental character with the ability to get me In Trouble, somehow).

But I know awful shit can happen, no matter how unafraid or how alert you are.
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]
From:downwardlashes
Date:January 10th, 2013 03:33 am (UTC)
(Link)
Which My Little Pony line? "Needs to be about 20% cooler", obviously.
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]
From:tatjna
Date:January 10th, 2013 08:41 pm (UTC)
(Link)
Bahahaha! I am now one My Little Pony line wiser than I was. I have never seen it. I feel uneducated. ;-)
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread) (Expand)
[User Picture]
From:pixiebelle
Date:January 10th, 2013 04:04 am (UTC)
(Link)
Having to asses your escape routes and pay attention to people around you is a sad reality for many women. I know I'm always on high alert and paying attention to those around me. My ex said I was too paranoid at times.... But I've had too many crazy things happen to me while I'm alone and I just want to be careful. It's sad we have to think like that.

I've been followed home from the grocery store before while there was a rapist in town picking up lone girls at you guessed it, the grocery store. Scariest moment of my life.... Luckily my ex was home and the creeper took off. I'm still scared to think back to what could have happened had I lived alone and had nowhere else to go.
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]
From:tatjna
Date:January 10th, 2013 08:40 pm (UTC)
(Link)
Oh god that sounds awful. *meep*
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]
From:jaelle_n_gilla
Date:January 10th, 2013 09:59 am (UTC)
(Link)
That twitter thread sounds scary.

I would say street harassment (the serious sort) is pretty rare here. I mean, young guys whistle after women. Sometimes older guys do too. I think I remember vaguely some kind of harassment as you described when you where 8. I mean WTF? Somebody should have spanked their butts to hell for scaring a kid like that!

I guess it does happen here too, though rarely, and you are certainly right, it's a matter of perception. I've heard remarks made behind my back to provoke a reaction, and it's usually best to cheat them out of that reaction. I am not a raging beauty, so I never really got a lot of that. The shy and beautiful girls get more.

When I feel bitchy now, when a remark is made at me that I am clearly meant to hear, I do react. I turn, make a snide remark back - like "get back to me when you've grown up" or even "when you've grown some pubic hair". I've never been scared, so it's easy to say I don't see it as harassment, much. It's a good thing girls and women learn to bitch back, though.
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]
From:weeweekittie
Date:January 10th, 2013 10:03 pm (UTC)
(Link)
I dress in bright colors to alert predators that I'm poisonous. I also spike my hair like a puffer fish so as to appropriately display my she-who-should-not-be-fucked-with position in the food chain.
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]
From:goffburd
Date:January 10th, 2013 11:24 pm (UTC)
(Link)
I'm impressed at your exercise regime - I'm currently so out of condition that walking for more than a couple of hours leaves me knackered and wanting nothing more than a large cup of tea and a lie-down....sad, but true!

As for street harassment. I had one incident not so long ago, where I was walking home from the night bus at about 4.00 in the morning, when a car pulled up in the road in front of me and the driver beckoned me over to talk to him. Instead I backed away to the left, and positioned myself against the wall of a pub .... Luckily, because as I did so, I saw that the driver's friend was actually coming up behind me, to the right. I *think* the plan was - if I'd gone over to speak to the driver, to push me into the car....but I *never* lean into cars. Somebody stops to ask me directions or whatever, I stay well back. Luckily, the fact that I had spotted what they were up to, and got into defence mode (get me.....defence mode, indeed!), plus I always carry my mobile in my pocket, and now had that in my hand, the 'passenger' got into the car, and they drove off. However, after that I still take the night bus, but now get off a few stops early, where there's a reputable cab firm, and get a minicab to my door.

A bit of a ramble there - sorry!
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]
From:c_maxx
Date:January 11th, 2013 07:08 pm (UTC)
(Link)
Oh, Lord! I saw Tank Girl when it first came out.

I was one of three people in the theatre...

While perhaps not a great movie, if they can make A Boy and His Dog into a movie, Tank Girl is a gotta have.

With the recent gun control debate in the US, one very funny political staffer I know suggested that the restriction should be that only women be allowed to have guns. Arf! (yelp of laughing appreciation)

Edited at 2013-01-11 07:17 pm (UTC)
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]
From:tatjna
Date:January 12th, 2013 05:13 am (UTC)
(Link)
Tank Girl was my first ever DVD, back in the olden days. It was.. like nothing I'd ever seen before.
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread) (Expand)