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So let's talk booty - you know, since we've already covered food and… - Tactical Ninja

Dec. 28th, 2012

09:00 am

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So let's talk booty - you know, since we've already covered food and the year in retrospect. What did y'all get for Christmas? What did y'all give for Christmas? Enquiring minds want to know..

.. because the polite thing to do is not to ask, but I reckon fuck polite so I'm asking.


One of the things given to me by Dr Wheel was a game called, romantically, Farming Simulator 2013. Now, I have never been a big player of sim games but when I have, I've tended to get addicted to them. Like, you know, Virtual Horse Ranch, which was literally grid-based and had no graphics at all. This one not only has 3D graphics, it has correct physics. More about that later.

The aim of the game is, as you'd imagine, to run a successful farm. You start with one field and two paddocks and some sheds and silos and stuff, and a bunch of machinery. Your job is to harvest/cultivate/sow/fertilise your crops, then sell them at the right time to make money. You can also run chickens, cows and sheep.

Sheep?

Yes, sheep. OK, you got me, I'm interested. Yes, I planted crops and chickens and things (cows are too hard right now), but I also bought 50 sheep. They require upkeep:



Here I am feeding my sheep. They eat grass, but instead of grazing it, I have to cut it with that lawnmower thing and feed it to them in that trough. Luckily one trough full lasts 6 farm days, so it's not as tedious as you'd think.

And then, they miraculously produce wool. Not through shearing, instead it appears neatly packaged into bales on a pallet, which have to be picked up with a front end loader:



And here's where the physics come in. You see, wherever this game is made, a front end loader is a dedicated piece of machinery, unlike here where most front end loaders are tractor attachments and thus have other uses as well. Anyway, this one is articulated in the middle like the sort of thing you'd find on a wharf rather than on a farm, and that makes it really bloody hard to steer. In fact, I've discovered that I'm far better at driving actual farm machinery than virtual farm machinery, and since this sim is going for realism, I caused a traffic jam in the middle of town when I jacknifed the trailer in the mainstreet and had to use the front end loader to lift the little tractor off the kerb. *cough*

So once your pallet of wool is on a trailer, you add a few more. Reading forums tells me once you get good at it you can stack them, but at the moment 8 is all I can manage. Once the trailer is full you take it off to the wool store where they give you money for it:



See my fantastic tidy stacking! I only tipped the trailer over once doing this...

Apparently as you get better you can buy more fields and tractors and stuff, and hire workers to do the grunt work while you run about the fields with your cows and sheep. I have yet to harvest anything except wool and eggs, so I've two tractors and a bunch of implements and a field full of greenery that I'm waiting to turn into money. I'm assuming eventually I'll be able to make hay and silage and then I can have cows. And probably have to learn to drive an articulated tanker using only the arrow keys and mouse. Especially the arrow keys and mouse on this new hypersensitive wireless keyboard/mouse combo that Dr Wheel gave me.

Another thing I was given was this:



I'm not a tea drinker but it'll come in handy for when I have tea drinkers round to visit, eh? And the YoT gave me a mini Garrus, who is now in a sniper spot in the lounge, keeping the geth at bay. And and and, I now have a copy of The Silent Grove which is my first graphic novel ever. I feel blessed with gifts.

Meanwhile, I gave Dr Wheel a ticket to Rainbow Serpent. This is me being proactive about making sure we get to more festivals. It's kind of a present for me as well as him because I get to be at Rainbow Serpent with him and that makes me go *squee* in so many ways. And the YoT got his first smart phone which he was a bit meh about till he realised he could play Angry Birds on it.


So, folks, what was your favourite gift, to give or to get? I bet you didn't get a whole farm..

Comments:

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From:m_danson
Date:December 27th, 2012 08:43 pm (UTC)
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I got a brain, dill pickle mints, bacon toothpicks, the coat of many pockets, a wingback chair from which I can rule the world (presently filled with cats), and socks.
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From:helianthas
Date:December 27th, 2012 09:18 pm (UTC)
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I could've totally used a brain instead of this pair of socks....
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From:tatjna
Date:December 28th, 2012 02:44 am (UTC)
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Bacon toothpicks OMG WANT
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From:pombagira
Date:December 27th, 2012 08:59 pm (UTC)
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i have a present for youslot.. hooray..

so wanna meet up at fidels this afternoon.. wheee!!

this year i gots a cup that says keep calm and drink tea.. hooray

a awsomesause fabric voucher.. *squeels all excited like*

and mumbles gave me her little note book.. ohhhh shiny!!

i gots other stuff to..

so fidels this afternoon/evening?

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From:tatjna
Date:December 28th, 2012 02:45 am (UTC)
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Yes, I'll be along in about 15 minutes.
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From:weeweekittie
Date:December 27th, 2012 11:48 pm (UTC)
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Working at a major clothing retailer, I gave everybody on both sides of the family clothes, mostly things with logos on them. Except for my father, who received chocolate, a tractor ornament and a Ralphie bunny-costume ornament, as he wears nothing but Dickie pants and work shirts. My favorite gift was for the kidlet, but also for myself: he finally got a twin size bed. My grandmother contributed money. He was getting too big for his converted crib, and as we often sleep together (or at least snuggle in the mornings), I was definitely too big for his crib. I even broke a slat hauling my orca body out like I was a beached whale. It wasn't a pretty thing. I made whale noises and everything. So, we drove 2 hours and bought THIS. It's beautiful.
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From:tatjna
Date:December 28th, 2012 02:47 am (UTC)
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That bed is all kinds of awesome, and would feel like sleeping on the couch all enclosed and stuff. Nice!
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From:polychrome_baby
Date:December 28th, 2012 12:06 am (UTC)
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I got a lovely sewing desk wherein I can put my sewing machine, bunches of sewing patterns and pattern books, a pressure cooker, storage bins for my pantry, a toaster, a greenish hand knit clutch that my mom made with an art nouveau polychrome-esque button, a lantern as per usual (I have a thing about lanterns), a stupidly huge check from my in-laws which as usual has me floundered and unsure what the freak to do with it, and a pair of 1 carat white gold lab created emerald earrings (which are very pretty due to *me not having to think about horrible things happening to people because of the industry surrounding nature made precious stones*).

All in all it was a ridiculously large haul for me being an adult.
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From:tatjna
Date:December 28th, 2012 02:48 am (UTC)
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I think it's fantastic that it's possible to make prettyshiny in a lab. I love pretty (even though I'm not really into jewellery), and am glad that there's a way for people to wear it without exploiting others.
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From:polychrome_baby
Date:December 28th, 2012 04:57 am (UTC)
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I generally avoid most jewelry because of the exploitation. It sort of fucks me up inside. At the same time I like ~pretty~ things.
I still avoid even lab created diamonds because fuck if there even needs to be an appearance of supporting how seriously evil that industry is. It's not like you wear a sign with it that says "it's cool, guys, nobody died, was maimed, or suffered atrocities for this. It's lab created."
Which isn't to say that I see a diamond on somebody and think about it, because I mostly don't. It's really about how wearing one would make me feel.

Still. Sparkly shiny pretty? Yes, please. If you can figure out a way to do it that doesn't make me feel bad, I'm down like a clown.
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From:gemmagic
Date:December 28th, 2012 05:21 am (UTC)
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This. I got diamond earrings for Christmas. I said to my husband "that's enought diamonds now" and he said "but you only have one pair of earrings and a ring set". How do you tell someone you don't *want* diamonds without being rude & ungrateful? :(
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From:adam_0oo
Date:December 28th, 2012 01:40 am (UTC)
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I haven't gotten all my gifts yet, so I will have to get back to you.

I like games that imitate our real lives.
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From:tatjna
Date:December 28th, 2012 02:49 am (UTC)
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I'm not sure Farming Simulator 2013 imitates my real life* but then, nor does Dragon Age eh?

* If I had lots of money to buy a farm it might, but alas my farm would be tiny and nowhere near as tidy.
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From:tatjna
Date:December 28th, 2012 02:50 am (UTC)

Re: Giffffts

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I would love to see some pictures of your silver stuff one day.
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From:tatjna
Date:December 28th, 2012 10:14 pm (UTC)

Re: Giffffts

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I think those are really beautiful, especially seeing where the inspiration came from.
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From:laughingmagpie
Date:December 28th, 2012 05:55 pm (UTC)
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Wow, I'm mightily impressed that your Farm simulator exists. That's... awesome!

One of my big gifts this year is the collector's edition of the new restoration of "Lawrence of Arabia" on Blu-ray with a little mounted piece of the film and everything.
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From:tatjna
Date:December 28th, 2012 10:10 pm (UTC)
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That is kind of epic. ;-)
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From:downwardlashes
Date:December 28th, 2012 06:57 pm (UTC)
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Plato got me the Sims 3, so that's fun. My sister got me some underwear and socks, which is actually great because I needed some. And Zinnia got me two owl necklaces. I'm suspicious that she was hoping I would share. Caspian forgot to get me anything! :)
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From:tatjna
Date:December 28th, 2012 10:12 pm (UTC)
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I have always wondered about the Sims. You make little people, right? And do you have to tell them what to do, or do they go about their business and you only step in to like, stop them driving off a cliff or something? Do they pick their own partners?
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From:downwardlashes
Date:December 30th, 2012 12:26 am (UTC)
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The sims is a lot like the farm game. You can control everything they do, or you can just watch them do stuff. You build them houses and work their way up a career and have kids and stuff. Or you can just make them do weird stuff and laugh. You can try to make them marry certain people, but it's gotten complicated since the first Sims, so there are all these different factors that make the sim people like eachother. Personally, I just like to build houses and make lots of babies. :D
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