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Well gosh. O.o - Tactical Ninja

Dec. 4th, 2012

08:56 am - Well gosh. O.o

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OK fanfiction, so I've tolerated the supple mounds and the marble columns and even all those people who hold their breath all the time without realising it. But what's with the lip claiming? Seriously - "He moved in and claimed her lips again..." WUT. Are they up for grabs? Exactly how does one claim a set of lips?

"Right then, I'll have those!"

"I'm afraid that under Section 32A of the Body Parts Ownership Act, your lips are actually mine."

*plants flag* "These lips now belong to Britain. Prepare to be colonised."

I'm sorry. Anyone attempting to claim my lips in the near future will find themselves sadly mistaken, followed by a short lesson on whose lips are whose. I like kissing though, lets do that instead.


I have shorn 50 sheep in the last couple of days, with the final 12 of them being last night - something of an emergency callout for folks who are out of the country for the next month as of Friday. They are lovely people and have a nice little flock of mainly older perendales, which aren't ridiculously huge and fat, and generally just sit there like lumps and let me shear them.

Except the ram. Whose name is Rambo, because every ram in the world must have a ram-pun name. It's like a rule or something. Anyway, the ram was stroppy and flaily and generally uncooperative. Luckily he was only about 10kg heavier than me so apart from a couple of stops and starts to rearrange him in a more conducive position, it wasn't terribly difficult.

However, this flock exhibited a strange thing I've never seen before and I don't know what to make of it.

Like many lifestylers, the flock is run as one mob, with the ram in there year round. Normally this doesn't affect anything unduly, the ewes generally all cycle within a couple of weeks of each other anyway, and the lambs consequently arrive at more or less the same time. For lifestylers, this is much easier than trying to determine lambing dates by keeping the ram out till tupping time, and most people don't care too much whether it's August or October when they get lambs.

This flock, however, lambed in July. This means the ewes were cycling in Feb/March, which is relatively early for this part of the country. And here's the thing that bothers me.

All the ewes had lambs this year, including one of the two ewe hoggets, who subsequently lost her lamb. There are also ewe lambs in the flock that are 5ish months old and approaching sexual maturity. It isn't the season for it yet - sheep generally don't gear up for tupping till after the solstice - but both of the ewe hoggets and the ewe lambs I crutched all showed redness and swelling around the vulva as if they'd been sexually active. None of the adult ewes with lambs did.

It looked for all the world like the ram had been at them. In some respects this sort of makes sense - they are smaller than the adult ewes and less bolshy, therefore less likely to go "Piss off!" to a randy ram. But it's the wrong season. I know rams will take the opportunity wherever it arises but usually they go for cycling ewes, and this is totally not the right time for ewes to be cycling, even young ones. So the only thing I can conclude is that he's forcing them.

When asked what they should do, I admitted to never having seen this before, and then when I got home I tried to find out more. But what sort of search terms do you use for such a thing? I'm going to try 'early estrus in female sheep' and go from there.

But, ew. And also, ick. Certainly if he's currently sexually active, that would explain his bolshiness. Rams are normally pretty docile when being shorn, but he was anything but.


*shudder*


On a less disturbing note, today I am going to this lecture. Yes, I am voluntarily going to the university to be lectured. OMG WUT. However, I think it's about time someone pointed out the lack of reference to the positive aspects of recreational drug use in discourse, and it's stuff like this lecture that is paving the way for my own research.

And now I am impatient to get the email saying "Oi, you should graduate now! Here's how." Not that I'm about the instant gratification or anything.

Comments:

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From:richdrich
Date:December 3rd, 2012 08:22 pm (UTC)
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From linked article:

He grew up in a pub

You need to ask if his parents owned it, or he just liked beer.

Edited at 2012-12-03 08:23 pm (UTC)
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From:goddessofchaos
Date:December 3rd, 2012 08:37 pm (UTC)
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Under Scots Law, you can claim possession of property if you have used it for twenty years without challenge. Therefore, as a daily user of my lips for 35 years, I believe I can safely lay claim to them :P (OK, the above applies more to things like access roads... but hey, my lips are the access point for beverages and foodstuffs, so I think it totally applies.)
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From:tatjna
Date:December 3rd, 2012 08:38 pm (UTC)
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So the question then arises, are your lips alienable? After using them for so long you can legally claim them, but can you sell them?

I want to see fanfiction where this happens.
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From:goddessofchaos
Date:December 3rd, 2012 08:42 pm (UTC)
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I probably couldn't sell them on their own, but I could reasonably sell the rights to them along with the rest of my property. So, you know, in the extremely unlikely event that I turn to prostitution, I should be able to confidently offer the entire package...
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From:helianthas
Date:December 3rd, 2012 08:58 pm (UTC)
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I'm curious about the sheep thing. Could
It be the breed? This doesn't help much...
http://www.countrysmallholding.co.uk/index-of-articles-sheep-fit-for-the-mating-season--212302</p>

Though you'd think the ram wouldn't be trying to mate with the undeveloped ewes...

Here in Spain it is chilly but sunny, about 9 or 10 hours of daylight I think, and there are baby animals EVERYWHERE! I've seen adorable little lambs and baby goats and calves too.

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From:tatjna
Date:December 3rd, 2012 09:02 pm (UTC)
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Yeah, it's weird. The solstice isn't for another three weeks, and normally ewes don't start to cycle till a few weeks after the solstice (well, they start straight away but the first cycle's usually blind). Especially with this year's lambs, I would not expect them to be cycling for at least another 10 weeks or so - and the ram supposedly to follow suit.

I'm wondering about things like cloud cover and whether that'd bring things on early, but we've had a relatively normal spring so I'm just a bit stumped.
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From:pombagira
Date:December 3rd, 2012 09:24 pm (UTC)
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ohhh..that lecture looks most interesting.. you will have to tell me all about it on friday, cause i am quite interested.. also if you get the chance invite said lecture to fidel's on friday, cause he looks like he will fit right in.. *grins*

and yes the claiming of lips of quite a common termonology amongst fanfiction..i think it is supposed to create a feeling of great fiery passion. also common in fanfiction is the concept of being claimed by the other partner in a love match, so to speak.. well it happens a lot in slash.. not so sure about the het side of things..*ponders this*..||

so now i am wondering about the claiming of lips is indicative of fiery passion and what the feeling of claimed druing sexy sexy is meant to indicate... *ponders this*.... maybe some sort of satedness.. satisfaction that they got their man? *ponders this more*


so drugs as a positive then

*grins*
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From:tatjna
Date:December 3rd, 2012 09:28 pm (UTC)
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I think it's possibly because writers are looking for other ways of talking about kissing because if you just say "He moved in and kissed her again" over and over it gets a bit samey. But the problem is, that some people seem to avoid saying kiss altogether, and euphemise their way into ridiculousness.

See also, the alternating of someone's name with their 'other descriptor' - so in one sentence they're Gloria, but in the next sentence they are 'the doctor' or 'the brunette' - again, to avoid overuse of the name.

I see patterns, and this sort of repetitiveness is jarring to me when I'm reading.
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From:pombagira
Date:December 3rd, 2012 09:44 pm (UTC)
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yeah i see those patterns to.. the eyes is another one popular in HP fanfic, green eyes looked into grey.. blar blar.. once is fine.. several times during shagging is very off putting.. >.<

however when done well in what is called crack fic.. its hilariously funny... *sniggers*.. and fun to..

*ponders bad writing while holding breath*

bwahahaha!!
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From:ms_hecubus
Date:December 3rd, 2012 09:52 pm (UTC)
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Haha! I can see we read the same type of HP fic.
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From:tatjna
Date:December 3rd, 2012 09:53 pm (UTC)
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ms_hecubus, meet pombagira. You do indeed read the same type of HP fic.
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From:pombagira
Date:December 3rd, 2012 10:02 pm (UTC)
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Waves at Ms Hecubus hi *grins*.. yay HP fic

*dances about*

currently listening to said HP fic at work.. yay porn at work!! bwahahah
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From:tatjna
Date:December 3rd, 2012 10:19 pm (UTC)
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Also, lip capturing. "She captured his lips..."

At which I picture his lips running away in terror while she chases them, dives on them and puts them in a box.

You never know, some people might find this sexy.
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From:pombagira
Date:December 3rd, 2012 10:27 pm (UTC)
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hmm... now i am imagining that she left the lip fairy, aka mostash behind, cause that would be funny

she captured his lips, leaving behind a confused man, with a angry lip fairy shaking her fist....


oh opps did i just invent a new sort of crack fic??

bwahah
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From:ferrouswheel
Date:December 3rd, 2012 10:31 pm (UTC)
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I've read my share of erotica, and I think it's evocative. I much prefer similes and metaphors to a plain explanation of what's happening. Since "capturing" could be used in relation to attention.

Which I'll admit isn't the must amusing interpretation ;p
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From:tatjna
Date:December 3rd, 2012 10:32 pm (UTC)
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It's true that I enjoy it too, and I might be taking the piss just a little bit.

But it's also true that overuse of the same metaphor becomes distractingly silly. ;-)
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From:bekitty
Date:December 3rd, 2012 11:49 pm (UTC)
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"She captured his lips"? I'm personally thinking lasso...
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From:rivet
Date:December 4th, 2012 12:47 am (UTC)
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One of the hilarious stories from this year's Burning Seed was someone coming to first aid in great distress because they'd....

wait for it....

Lasso'd a TASTEBUD with fishing line and could not free it. I imagine it took a lot of effort to do that in the first place.
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From:slavezombie
Date:December 3rd, 2012 09:58 pm (UTC)
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Considering we're speaking of fan fiction, I'm gonna go out on a limb and suggest that the writer was headed in a zombie/organ market direction but got scared and returned to the norm, forgetting to change claim to something like encarnalize. Or, huh?
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From:richaarde
Date:December 4th, 2012 02:31 am (UTC)
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*in fake British accent* "I claim these lips in the name of England"
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From:downwardlashes
Date:December 4th, 2012 04:11 am (UTC)
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... sheep pedophilia somehow still seems horribly wrong.
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