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Mah lovely lady lumps - Tactical Ninja

Sep. 5th, 2012

09:15 am - Mah lovely lady lumps

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So, um, I didn't go to acro last night. I went to training yesterday and told DoomBoy the pertinent parts of my weekend adventures, and we went through a range of movements to see what hurt and what didn't, then did core exercises till I wanted to vomit, then some lighter lifting and some isolation exercises. None of these things hurt. However, by the evening my arm was throbbing and limp again, and I decided not to try doing thngs that involve pulling on strange angles. I reallyreally want to go to handbalancing tonight (mostly because I'm making progress damnit and I want to keep that up) but I know that it would be more sensible not to. At this point I'm holding out hope that resting all day will make it fine by tonight.

But I have to be realistic - there's something wrong or it wouldn't hurt. It's annoying that it doesn't hurt when I'm actually doing stuff so I can't tell what stuff to avoid. This means that avoiding everything is the most sensible approach and fuck that for a game of soldiers.




As you can see, there's a somewhat pronounced bump on the end of the collarbone of my left shoulder. It's probably a bit more pronounced than usual, but it's always a bit bigger than the other. Since this photo was taken MySpace styles, I figured I should work out the timer on my phone and take a proper one with arms at sides:



In this one, it's even more pronounced, and one shoulder is also higher than the other, with the left one sloping away at a much sharper angle than the right. I've noticed this sometimes when doing weights as well, and I don't know if it's anything to be concerned about. As I said yesterday, I pointed this all out to OsteoDude but he didn't seem to think it was a problem. But.. I'm not so sure. If I had a horse with a mysterious shoulder-bump and that didn't stand straight, I'd be questioning whether I ought to be expecting it to perform piaffe, you know?

Fuckity, I should see a doctor shouldn't I? The problem is, I've already been told by one professional that it's nothing to be worried about, now I feel as though continuing to insist that hey look bump and fix it please is being a hypochondriac or something. For those in the US, this probably seems ridiculous, but our culture is much, MUCH less about medical intervention than yours, and my own family culture was that needing a doctor is weakness. Needing two doctors is clearly attention-seeking. Etc.

Yes I know that's dumb but it does actually make it more difficult, psychologically. Also, OsteoDude came highly recommended so it feels a bit like throwing those recommendations back in people's faces. Having said that, he did fix my neck.. so maybe he can fix this too? I just feel weird about going to him and saying "Hey you know how I told you I thought there was a problem in my shoulder and you brushed it off? Well..."


I was never very good at being anything less than entirely capable, all the time.

Last night we watched 2 episodes of the documentary series Drugs Inc - the cocaine one and the ecstasy one. While I can see that the makers were doing their best to appear neutral, I couldn't help but laugh at the way they pulled numbers out of their arses. There are 2 million cocaine dealers in the US, apparently. I wonder how they came about that figure. The census? "Occupation: Tick one - carpenter, project manager, cocaine dealer." *cough* The guy sniffing sassafras oil and saying it made his head feel like it was going to explode was also pretty funny. Some of the ecstasy 'facts' - like how it gives you brain damage - weren't very facty, just saying, and the language used was mostly couched in the usual 'drugs are bad' hegemony. However, given that the people making it were probably TV producers and not drug policy experts, I can almost forgive them not noticing how biased their language was. But not quite. The media is the machinery of ideology (along with education) and National Geographic should be very very careful to ensure that their language is actually neutral.

However, for the most part these were nowhere near as bad as I was expecting, and they make some good points. They did demonstrate a positive side to drug use, and discuss the failure of the war on drugs in terms of potentially better options. I liked the way they took pains to portray the perspective of the primary producers in the drug trade - lots of people don't think about them at all. But for the most part, it seemed to be a 'once over lightly' look at the various drug trades for the benefit of the ignorant. I imagine it would make most people at least think beyond "Oh look, a morally-degenerate crack addict dumb shit deserves to die" anyway. And in that respect it's good, so I guess I recommend it?

Also, if sassafras trees are so endangered and taking them for oil is so terrible for the environment, perhaps allowing them to be farmed is not such a dumb idea.

Comments:

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From:pixiebelle
Date:September 4th, 2012 09:31 pm (UTC)
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Wow, there is an obvious lump there... I'm no doctor, but I would think it's something I'd want to get checked out.

The documentaries sound interesting. I might have to check them out!
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From:kehleyr
Date:September 4th, 2012 09:44 pm (UTC)
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I think you should definitely be on his case about the lump and your arm! Some Dr's you need to stay on them to get things done...
*hugs*
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From:rivet
Date:September 4th, 2012 10:02 pm (UTC)
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I'd be less fussed about the lump than the pain, really. Bodies are a roadmap of our various experiences, and plenty of us are lumpy and/or lopsided. But if it *hurts* and Osteodude didn't have that information, I would definitely give him another go.

(if it helps, I'm pretty sure my shoulders are even more lopsided than yours)
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From:tatjna
Date:September 4th, 2012 10:21 pm (UTC)
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Yeah, it's less the lopsidedness that I'm worried about and more what that might be an indication of in terms of structural weirdness, because the things I'm doing now are taking my body to the extreme limit of its ability and that's where structural instability leads to favouring which leads to injury which leads to not being able to do things any more.

Which is what I'm scared this is.
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From:rivet
Date:September 5th, 2012 11:20 am (UTC)
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I'm not telling you anything you don't know, but I'll go ahead and say what's true for me. Fear is a hydra against which there are no contingency plans; information--even worst case scenarios--allows for action. Action gives a sense of control, even in situations you don't want to be in. Right now, you have schrodinger's shoulder damage, and your brain will quietly catastrophise about it.

Of course, this is strictly hypothetical, because I would never go through this process myself. Nosireee, not I. Well, maybe a little.

<3
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From:ms_hecubus
Date:September 5th, 2012 12:24 am (UTC)
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Do you have earlier photos to compare to? When I sprained my knee my knee caps looked all uneven because of the inflammation, even when the obvious swelling was gone. If the bump is newer or more pronounced than before I would wonder if he dismissed it because it's related to your current injury.
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From:tatjna
Date:September 5th, 2012 01:43 am (UTC)
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I don't have any specifically of me standing face-up to the camera, but I remember noticing the lopsidedness some time earlier this year when I was checking my form for weight training. But at that point there was no pain.
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From:polychrome_baby
Date:September 5th, 2012 02:28 am (UTC)
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I dunno about the rest of the US, but I know that most people I know in the US are massively "eh.. it's just a flesh wound" about most medical stuff. I figure it has to do with the large amount of jack and all when it comes to medical coverage.

That said, when I looked at your shoulder bump I thought (in quick succession)
- "huh. there's a bit of a bump there."
- "it's probably because she's standing funny or holding her arms different."
- "oh, there, she's holding both arms even. I guess one shoulder might be higher."
- "I really can't tell."
- "eh. the osteo dude said no worries."
- "no worries, people aren't really generally symmetrical after all."
- "sure, but you're not a horse, and those generally are bred for stuff like good symmetrical muscles and such."
- "huh. other people seem to think it's worth worrying about."
- "do I shrug real shit off too easily?"
- "whatever. no worries."

So, what I gather from this is that it may or may not be a problem. That I'm very suggestible. And that I am a horrible judge as to whether something is serious or not.

Edited at 2012-09-05 02:28 am (UTC)
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From:meathiel
Date:September 5th, 2012 07:10 am (UTC)
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Yep, I can see the lump ... you should get it checked out.
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From:goddessofchaos
Date:September 5th, 2012 08:32 pm (UTC)
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If the lump bothers you, talk to the doctor. The fact that you have pain as well means there must be some reason behind it.
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From:slavezombie
Date:September 5th, 2012 09:17 pm (UTC)
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You're so cute. From what I hear, the human body is almost never perfectly symmetrical. I have a bump on my 4th toe that doesn't bother me much, and my right knee feels numb when I scratch it.

Cute cute. More pix please
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From:tatjna
Date:September 6th, 2012 01:30 am (UTC)
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Cute is not a word people normally use to describe me. I'm not sure how to respond to that.
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From:helianthas
Date:September 6th, 2012 01:35 pm (UTC)
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1. My shoulders are way more uneven than yours (but I have no bump) and always thought its just normal, I'm lopsided. Supposedly how we walk affects this, apparently orthotic insoles could help. If I were you and had healthcare, I'd get a 2nd opinion about that bump if just to see what the hell it is. </p>

2. Drug question: can ecstasy permanently fuck up someone's serotonin levels? Let's say their aeration system isn't necessarily ideal to begin with? Or, uh, their serotonin system. Thanks, autocorrect!

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From:tatjna
Date:September 6th, 2012 08:40 pm (UTC)
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There is no evidence that ecstasy makes any permanent changes to the brain. There is some evidence that long term, heavy (like, 3-4 days a week for several years) use may affect short term memory, but that's it.

Having said that, it does mess with your serotonin production and realistically, people who have trouble regulating serotonin should probably avoid it. Even people who have no trouble with serotonin should be careful. I relate it to being similar to washing your hair - the more you do it the more your body compensates and the grottier your hair gets in between washes.

My rule of thumb is no more than every 6 weeks or so, to give the brain a chance to get completely sorted in between. In reality, it's usually way longer than that.
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