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Welcomeintrobrainsramble! - Tactical Ninja

Jul. 6th, 2012

09:16 am - Welcomeintrobrainsramble!

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Announcement: Wheel: The Next Generation is now a reality. He arrived on the 5th of July (yes folks, we really do live in the future cos that was yesterday for us) and his name is Daxton. Everyone's well and his parents couldn't be more chuffed, especially his Mum who went a week overdue and last Saturday was running through her list of old wives' tales on how to make babies come out NOW DAMNIT! *cough* I'd like to say he's beautiful but actually he looks a bit like a prizefighter who's just spent the last week on a whiskey bender and finished up by getting stoned. However, he is adorable. And well cooked.

He also has no idea what he's in for. Dr Wheel was all "What are uncles supposed to do?" and all I could come up with based on the YoT's uncle was "Teach him inappropriate words and give him inappropriate gifts." Hmm..

Announcement the Second: You know how LJ's a bit quiet lately? Well, like all good communities, it's come up with a way of connecting those who are still here, still posting, still reading, so we can know each other and find new friends. It's called a Friending Frenzy and one of my friends is having one. If you go have a look you'll see what the deal is. I thoroughly recommend it for reviving your flist and also for meeting far-flung people and getting to know them. It's over here: Let the frenzy begin! Well actually it's well underway already but you get the drift.


Cos I haven't done this for a while and I've participated in a few frenzies lately so there are a few folks who are quite new, and sometimes it's hard to know where to pick up when someone writes as prolifically as I do. Like, what the hell is Dr Wheel? And who is the YoT? All will be revealed!

Dr Wheel: ferrouswheel He ended up being Dr Wheel after he defended his PhD and the doctor jokes started to abound in bulk. My partner in crime and also in extremely virtuous charitable good works ( <-- honest). He is awesome and slobberingly hot and we live together in an earthquake-prone apartment that we own in central Wellington. He does complicated data analysis stuff that requires juggling computers one handed while doing abstract maths in his head, and is inventing Skynet on the side. I love him for lots of reasons but one of the main ones is that he's incredibly grounded for someone so cerebral and he laughs at my fart jokes.

The YoT: Short for the Youth of Today, my offspring who has just turned 17 and hit 6"6' some time earlier this year. We tested it out and I now have to jump to high five him. Otherwise it's a low five on his part. I am constantly astounded at how something that grew that big came out of me. He was born on the winter solstice (I was born on Samhain so maybe it's a Thing). He is turning into the sort of adult I would like to hang out with, which makes me feel like I've done an OK job as a parent. He's had a hard row to hoe and it's not all roses but I'm pretty proud of him eh?

Happy: happyinmotion. He is one of my favourite people and has a giant brain and is a sarcastic Englishman who occasionally sarcasms intelligently all over my blog. We love him lots. Pretty much everyone else gets referred to by their LJ name, except DoomBoy (my personal trainer) and OsteoDude (who is fixing my broken bits atm).

The backstory: I came from a small town called Dargaville, where small minded people did small things, and I tried to do what was expected of a girl in those circumstances by getting married and having a white picket fence. Turned out I was crap at that and even crapper at choosing a husband. It was abusive and nasty and sometimes I write about that but these days I know about trigger warnings so yay! It was 17 years ago and I've done a lot of work on myself since then, but every now and then something comes up and bites my arse and I spend a week or so dredging and you get regaled with it.

Also in Ye Olden Tymes, I learned to shear a sheep. This led to all sorts of adventures in which I became a shepherd in the Wairarapa and spent my days chasing sheep. I still think sheep are better than sliced bread, and since I moved to the city the bush telegraph somehow broadcast this shearing thing to all the small farmers around the area and every summer I spend about three months shearing their sheep on the weekends. It's a bit different because most of the sheep are bigger than me and they all have names and I take pictures of them and put them on the internet.

Things I rant about: Drug policy. It fucks me off that the war on drugs has not only led to this bullshit belief that altering your mindstate through the use of a substance is somehow morally wrong (often from people who like their wine with dinner, eh?), but also to human rights abuses like you wouldn't believe, which nobody hears about because it's drugs and clearly those degenerates deserve it, right? So, um, yeah. I've spent the last five years studying at university for a degree so that people will listen to me. I'm about to finish that and then just watch me go. Also, I'm given to ranting about other things that incense me on occasion, especially sexism because hey, I'm a woman and I shear sheep and you better believe it pisses me off when anyone assumes I'm inferior in any way because of my gender. And I say it because I can't ethically keep quiet and let someone do that. *shrug* Would you?

Other stuff. I'm a burner, although I haven't been to Burning Man since 2006. However we have our own burn here, called Kiwiburn, and we also went to AfrikaBurn which was quite the adventure. I figure if you're going to spend all that money for a festival, why always go to the same one? In line with the burner thing, that's where the costumes fit in. Here's a post with some pictures of the sort of ridiculousness I make.

I recently started doing adagio classes, which have required me to get bendier and also stronger. Hence the engagement of a personal trainer who makes me lift heavy things and row a lot. I'm getting stronger and bendier, so it must be working right? My aim is to achieve a handstand and the splits by the end of the year. Ultimately I'd like to be able to press to handstand while balanced on someone elses's hands. Wish me luck.

OK I have probably rambled enough. Yes, I am wordy. I write at least five days a week and I generally write a lot but I usually use a cut to not mess with your friends page. I have no shame and no secrets, I will write about anything and my blog is public. Sometimes it ends up being a commentfest, and usually when this happens the topic of comments have very little to do with what I posted about, but it's generally entertaining. I'm told that sometimes people feel intimidated by the Boffins Wot Know Stuff on here, but all comments are welcome and as long as you don't act like a wanker, it's pretty friendly. If anyone acts like a wanker to you, they get told. I've only had to do it once in the HOLY CRAP NINE YEARS I've been here.

Welcome!

Also, having said that I post every day, I'm off on holiday tonight to a place with no internet and no cellphone coverage. It will be bliss, but I won't be posting. See you next Tuesday or Wednesday! *squee*


Meanwhile, yesterday I had a conversation about brains. I have decided that my brain is like a Sherman Tank - it's not pretty or flashy and it doesn't go very fast but it has a lot of inertia and when it's going it just keeps on keeping on no matter what you chuck at it. When it does get put off track, it takes a while to get back on. It's also capable of firing the occasional devastating rocket. My friend decided his was like a Concorde - goes really really fast and is utterly unique but breaks down really easily.

So, oh newly expanded flist - what would your brain be if it was a vehicle?

Comments:

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From:polychrome_baby
Date:July 5th, 2012 09:23 pm (UTC)
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Quad roller skates. What? Those are sorta vehicles.
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From:tatjna
Date:July 5th, 2012 09:25 pm (UTC)
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They totally are. I can tell by the way nobody can decide whether skaters should go on the pavement, in the cycle lane or on the road.

Does your brain have a big rubber stopper on the front?
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From:kehleyr
Date:July 5th, 2012 09:39 pm (UTC)
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*giggles* not sure what kind of vehicle my brain would be... unfortunately a boring one for sure... :-P.
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From:tatjna
Date:July 5th, 2012 09:52 pm (UTC)

My guess

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A Land Rover. Not the top of your list for 'things to pick your date up in' but still going even after 30 years of hard yakka. Sometimes really hard to find the gears but once it's in gear it'll go bloody anywhere. Noisy and smoky but can tow horses.

Everyone secretly wants one.
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From:blue_eye
Date:July 5th, 2012 09:44 pm (UTC)
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Good question....anything driven by an old person.
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From:tatjna
Date:July 5th, 2012 09:51 pm (UTC)
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Rolls Royce Silver Ghost:

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From:tatjna
Date:July 5th, 2012 09:49 pm (UTC)
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"claimed as
a national icon despite being built by two countries who tried very hard
to ignore the contributions of the other, skin reaches boiling point at
high speed"


This is totally you.
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From:t_c_da
Date:July 5th, 2012 10:29 pm (UTC)
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I think I'll go for one of these...



The engine uses a Ferguson tractor block and would run on Kerosine with a little detuning. I fitted a Holden carby on the one I owned and it would give 25mpg (imperial).

Edited at 2012-07-05 10:31 pm (UTC)
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From:tatjna
Date:July 5th, 2012 10:33 pm (UTC)
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Hee!

I remember my Dad used to make head gaskets for our old Datsun Bluebird out of leather - and once out of old Weetbix packets compressed together.
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From:downwardlashes
Date:July 5th, 2012 10:45 pm (UTC)
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A kinetic sculpture.


It does things differently but with mostly the same outcome.
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From:tatjna
Date:July 5th, 2012 10:50 pm (UTC)
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.. and brings its own oxygen supply?
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From:pombagira
Date:July 5th, 2012 10:47 pm (UTC)
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if my brain was a car, it would have to be a bright apple GREEN skoda from 1970mumble, sturdy, sometimes slow but gaily colored with an engine in the back

wheee!!

vroom vrooom
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From:tatjna
Date:July 5th, 2012 10:50 pm (UTC)
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Hey, don't diss the Skoda man - I kept up with a dude in a Porsche racing through South Auckland in one of those once...

Porsches also have the motor in the back.
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From:caycos
Date:July 5th, 2012 10:55 pm (UTC)
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Tardis. Bigger than you might think at first glance and full of randomly interesting things :)
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From:tatjna
Date:July 5th, 2012 11:05 pm (UTC)
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BEST ANSWER YET
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From:tieke
Date:July 6th, 2012 12:47 am (UTC)
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A goat. Uncanny ability to find the hole in the fence, just when you were sure you'd blocked them all up. Completely unable to find its way back into the paddock no matter how much you push it (although bribery sometimes works). Occasional failed escape attempt results in hours of bleating about its head being STUUUUUCK!

Also, not a vehicle. Too fucking bad.
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From:decemberthirty
Date:July 6th, 2012 01:20 am (UTC)
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Thanks for the intro! Just as you predicted, I read the first part of this post wondering what on earth Dr. Wheel and YoT were, so I was glad to find out.

I'm not sure what sort of vehicle my brain would be. It moves slowly, so it certainly wouldn't be anything fast or flashy...

Also, hooray for going on holiday with no internet or cellphone coverage! I'll be doing that myself in about two weeks, and I can't wait!
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From:tatjna
Date:July 6th, 2012 01:49 am (UTC)
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Where are you going?

We are going to Riversdale Beach, which is a beach with nothing at it. It's also got the dubious honour of being the place where I did my first dog trial (which would probably make a good LJ post come to think of it).

And it's the middle of winter so we should pretty much have the place to ourselves.
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From:ms_hecubus
Date:July 6th, 2012 02:10 am (UTC)
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My brain would be bumper cars. All the ideas bumping around in there, ramming other ideas out of the way, getting caught up in a huddled mass until one breaks free and streaks across my consciousness.
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From:tatjna
Date:July 6th, 2012 02:16 am (UTC)
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That is a fantastic analogy and now I'd like to see one of those Wacky Races type cartoons made of everyone's different brains.

Although, I suspect the Tardis would win, eh?
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From:labelleizzy
Date:July 6th, 2012 04:44 am (UTC)
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my brain is like a paper airplane because the slightest whiff of something interesting from another direction, diverts it.

also: I want an icon of, "My Brain is Like A Sherman Tank."

=)
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From:bekitty
Date:July 6th, 2012 04:47 am (UTC)
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A cat.

It goes where it wants, when it wants (unless there's an inconvenient door in the way, in which case there will be LOUD COMPLAINING!) and can find itself in some very unexpected places sometimes.

And it's a vehicle for fur. Trust me on this.

Yup. Definitely a cat.
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From:dianavilliers
Date:July 6th, 2012 05:58 am (UTC)
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A horse. Can usually find its own way home when you're drunk, frequently has its own ideas about which direction to take, occasionally freaks out at invisible plastic bags.

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From:laoke
Date:July 6th, 2012 06:36 am (UTC)
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Merry-go-round horse. Pretty, functional, goes around in circles for the entertainment of rubes.
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From:jaelle_n_gilla
Date:July 6th, 2012 07:58 am (UTC)
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Hee, thanks for the intro and congrats on little wheel. I guess I should do an intro myself like that (and remember to use a cut). Your ideas on drugs are interesting and when I was younger partly shared by me. By now I have so little to do with any of this that it kinda faded out of focus.
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From:goffburd
Date:July 6th, 2012 11:28 am (UTC)
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My brain would be an old banger - working in fits and starts. Suddenly kicking into gear, but just as quickly juddering to a halt - whereupon you have to kick it a few times to get it back into operation. I tried to find a suitable picture/video. Found this, not quite what I'm trying to say, but I liked it!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k_uTfnObZ_k&feature=results_video&playnext=1&list=PLF7EA608AC68EAB1E
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From:morbid_curious
Date:July 6th, 2012 11:40 am (UTC)
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Quad-rotor drone. Agile, capable of clever autonomous activities if it understands the domain it's navigating well enough, and doesn't particularly appreciate being run into concrete walls.
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From:fushia_darkness
Date:July 8th, 2012 06:38 pm (UTC)
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Nice to get to know you :) I like the way you write very much, swift and humorous. I do wish I had the handle to use the English language that way. I’m more like that in my native language (Swedish).

Ah, I’d love for my brain to be a Corvette, quick to accelerate, fast (sometimes going in the wrong direction) and sexy, but I guess it’s too unpredictable, unfocused and tends to break down every now and then to account as a new sports car. Perhaps an old one then (I wish)?
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