Post containing a serious question - Tactical Ninja
Mar. 22nd, 2012
09:53 am - Post containing a serious question
The other day I was walking down the street and saw a couple of women walking together, who by their features were obviously a mother and her adult daughter. This time of year there's a fair bit of that as the first-years get settled in up at the university. Anyway, the sight of them together hit me really hard with missing my Mum.
I have a fantastic tribe of chosen family who fulfil me in various ways and add colour and texture to my life. I have 2 wonderful actual relatives who know me better than anybody and share memories of our Mum and Dad who aren't here any more. But when it comes down to it you only get one Mum. I miss Dad's intellect, his quirky curiosity about everything and the long rambling discussions we'd have about things we were both fascinated by. With Mum, I miss her - who she was and how we related to each other and hanging out and doing stuff. I sometimes wonder what she'd think about the way my life's changed since she died - we probably have more in common now than we did before she got sick. And I miss her.
I am thinking of emailing my tutor for my current course and asking if it would be more sensible for me to stay away from tutorials. I've only been to two, but I'm already running into a problem that I've identified before but that's exacerbated quite majorly in this course.
You see, the course is 200 level. It's aimed as an introduction to the issues. I don't know how to say this without sounding like a wanker but for me, while I'm still learning bits and bobs here and there, my introduction to the issues was several years ago. The course still holds a great deal of value for me because it's run by two of Vic's leading people on the topic. Thus, the way they are delivering the stuff means that I'm getting a good reinforcement for my existing grounding, and also I am getting a chance to impress them. This is important to me because these are the two people that are the top of my list of people to consider as supervisors for my future research work at PhD level. I want them to know who I am, and I want to learn more about them.
However the tutorials are designed to make people think about the course readings and to explore the issues and ensure that people grasp them. This Tuesday we went through two questions in group discussion:
1. What is the international framework for drug law? Answer - the UN Conventions and Schedules.
2. What is the national framework for drug law? Answer - the Misuse of Drugs Act 1975 and Classes.
There was some discussion of how the Schedules are confusing and don't appear to be based in any kind of evidence or logic, and how the Classes follow this pattern. Also how not all countries party to the Conventions have addressed drug law in the same way.
Then there was a debate. Half the class had to debate "The drug laws are working" and half the class had to debate "They aren't". I was on the "They aren't" team. The "They are" team struggled to come up with arguments, and it was a bit of a shambles to be honest. There were only two people in my group who spoke - me and one other guy. Even with prompting, nobody else really had anything to say. And the other guy who spoke is the one I mentioned in another post as A Ranter. Unfortunately, he's also a little misguided and tends to go off on a tangent where he uses a lot of words really fast and it's difficult to glean what he's trying to say. He tends to speak as if he knows he's right when he isn't.
And if I'm thinking that sort of thing about my fellow tutorial people, I'm wondering just how much value I'll a) get from and b) bring to the class. To put it bluntly, I know a hell of a lot more about this stuff than most of my classmates and because I'm passionate about the topic I'm having trouble keeping quiet and letting other people explore the ideas themselves. I already know the answer and I am impatient with waiting for people to speak so we can get past the basics and into something meaty. I'm finding it hard to avoid dominating the discussions and thus I don't think anyone else is benefiting from my presence either, and I leave the classes going "Well I didn't learn anything and I feel like That Person."
So I'm wondering if it would be a good idea to mention this to my tutor. If I'm not getting anything from it and my presence is not helping, why am I there?
Meanwhile, there appears to be sewing going on in our house. I am having my first go at sewing chiffon and am learning the value of judicious use of pins to stop it from sliding irritatingly all over the bloody place. Also, this item is normal clothing, in that it's not a costume and I will probably be able to wear it to work. OMG.
myrrhmade has inspired me to try making pasta. Has anyone done this? Is it hard?