In which I enquire as to your pr0n surfing habits - Tactical Ninja
Nov. 12th, 2010
10:22 am - In which I enquire as to your pr0n surfing habits
Last night we did cooking. Big woop, I hear you say. But 'we' meant 'all of us' and 'cooking' meant 'going to a cooking class'. It was kind of a do things as a family deal, and I admit my enthusiasm was lukewarm because cooking = not really my thing.
However, this was fun. We made tangy tamarind chicken with fried rice and it was good, and because I made it myself it didn't have coriander in it *rants about coriander*. I also like wok cooking more than boil-in-five-different-pots cooking, and I liked the setup where your bench was in the middle and a couple of gas hobs at each end. Made things much easier than having the whole lot in one place.
So yeah, that was kind of cool. I'd definitely do it again. Also, I learned stuff about rice and woks and how to stop stuff sticking to them.
I'm finding myself amazed how many parents do what I'd consider to be over-supervision of their kids' internet use. Stuff like insisting on knowing passwords, having internet-capable computers in sight of the rest of the household, even down to installing keyloggers and checking what their kid has said/done on the net.
I'm not one of these parents. I used to supervise The Kid on the internet when he was younger, but at 15 I give him open slather. I figure it this way: being a digital native he's probably learned to keep himself safe, and I know they also teach this stuff in school now. I don't care if he looks at porn, in fact I'd be kind of surprised if he didn't, what with being a teenager and all. We're Facebook friends and while I hardly ever use Facebook, he uses it a fair bit and the other day when I saw a witty comment by him, I looked at some of his pages and was pleasantly surprised at both the level of conversations he's having, and at the way he conducts himself in social forums. Additionally, chances are that most kids learn how to circumvent parental filters and keyloggers, and use proxies and the like pretty early on. I mean, it's no secret that most of the kids know how to get around the school's internet filter. And changing a password is, well.. child's play.
The bottom line is, I trust my kid, and I'm ok with him satisfying his curiosity by looking at things like TwoGirlsOneCup if he hears about it. Because I did. It didn't traumatise me and I'm not a psychopath - I just sort of went "Ew, oh well, now I know *shrug*". I'd be worried if he were obsessively looking at really weird shit, but I'm pretty sure that after 15 years if he were a disturbed person, signs of it would have shown up by now, you know? I did have to point out to him that sending links to TwoGuysOneHorse to all his friends was probably a bad idea and why, but the reason I knew he had looked at this was because he told me. He didn't sneak up to it behind my back, because I'm not going to nail his arse to the wall over what he looks at on the internet. Thus, he was able to get parental guidance and save himself potential trouble.
So I'm not sure what parents have to worry about with their kids on the internet. Is it what they might see? To which I go "Ok, up to a certain age, but after that you have to trust that they can deal with what they are seeing if you've done your job." Is it what they might do? Who they might talk to?
So I'm wondering, for those of you who were teenagers with internet (this is obviously not me, but I know some of you grew up with it):
1. What sort of limitations did your folks place on your internet use?
2. Were they effective at a) keeping you safe from The Evuls Of Teh Webz, b) limiting what you looked at, c) regulating your behaviour on the net?
3. If your folks did place limitations, did you circumvent them and do what you wanted anyway?
Am I failing as a parent by allowing my son to explore the internet on his own? I strongly believe I am doing the right thing, but I'm curious what the value of net limitation is from those who have been subject to it, who are now adults. How did this affect you as a teenager?
Tell me all your teenage secret web stuff, oh flist!
Tonight I'll be at Fidels briefly, but may go home a bit early because I want to do some mixing.
feel free to wave your hands in the air like you just don't care