Oct. 1st, 2014
09:35 am - OHAI negative headspace
Waking up ridiculously early? Check.
Angry all the time? Check.
Having trouble controlling weird food related urges? Check.
Seeking out addictive repetitive games instead of doing my usual hobbies? Check.
OK, time to do something about this.
Sep. 30th, 2014
08:58 am - Guess what?
I am going deer shooting!
*cue unfriending by all the vegans*
I'm not really a hunter, I'm a farmer. I hunted a lot as an older child/young teenager - my family was pretty poor and we made money from possum and rabbit skins and tails, and we also ate them enough so that I appreciate a good bit of wagyu steak probably more than most people. But once I got sufficient agency to decide for myself, I decided that I enjoy looking after animals as much as I enjoy eating them, and that farming provides a much better payoff than hunting, reward-for-hours-spent-wise.
But, NZ has a fairly high proportion of hunters because we have lots of backblocks and thanks to Them That Thought They Knew What They Were Doing In Ye Olden Tymes, we also have lots of introduced pests. Goats, deer, possums, rabbits, hares, to name the most damaging to our native flora and fauna. Hence making money off possum tails - there used to be a bounty on them.
I know in Australia they are protected, but in NZ they are responsible for the destruction of substantial quantities of native ecosystems, and are also a vector for the spread of TB (which is making a comeback here because they stopped vaccinating for it in the 1980s and also because poverty. Antivax people, take note).
Deer are the same. They might be cute and fluffy and majestic and shit, but they are also a disease-spreading pest that destroys native ecosystems (and thus native wildlife) disproportionately to any benefit they provide with their majesty. So I am ethically ok with killing them.
Still not really a hunter though. This is another case of me helping my mate Evan complete his bucket list. He wanted to take me deer hunting, so deer hunting is where I'm going this weekend. We're going to a station up in Arthur's Pass:
Where we will sleep in a hut for a few days and wander around those mountains looking for Bambi. I have no real interest in shooting a deer, although I'll take my turn if it comes up (last I remember I'm not a bad shot but it's been years). My job is mainly to fetch and carry anything that we catch. My two companions both being somewhat elderly and a bit decrepit, I'm the fittest of the bunch. Since I don't believe in killing things for fun, retrieving the meat is the most important job IMO. I am not interested in trophies although I wouldn't say no to a nice skin and a couple of back steaks.
Also, photos. Because NZ's South Island ranges are super pretty and it's spring so it'll be green as, with snow still on the tops (shit, even the Tararuas still have snow on them after this weekend).
So yeah, that's what I'm doing this weekend. Feel free to disapprove.
As an aside, NZ has 22 guns per 100 people (compared with the US's 90). Almost all of them are on farms or kept by people who use them for hunting. What other reason could anyone have for owning a gun?
Sep. 26th, 2014
Full disclosure - back when I was 17, I dated this guy briefly. Then I went to university and realised that being committed to someone who a) lived a long way away and b) I wasn't really that into, was a bad idea, so I ended it. It wasn't acrimonious or anything.
Anyway, years later he found me on g+ and asked if I had a Facebook. At the time I didn't, but now I do, and he found me there too and friended me. I went OK because like I said, not really a reason not to. In the time I've been re-interacting with this guy, he's given me cause to be thankful for my lucky escape years ago, in that he appears to have very different values from my own, enough so that pretty much everything that comes out of his mouth makes me roll my eyes and despair for the future of our country.
And today, because Facebook loves to show you what your 'friends' are up to, I saw this, on an article from 2008 in which a local musician expressed anger at having his music used without his permission in a celebration video for a political party he didn't support:
"Haha, Only women & lefty blokes drag up trivia something from ancient times and try to treat it as though it is current news &/or relevant to a current time/situation."
What this demonstrates to me is that he's also happy to say derogatory things about women in public.
My insta-urge was to ditch him and tell him why. Or I could just ditch him I guess, although that feels less satisfying. Am I reading this wrong? Or am I just being 12?
What I do know is that I don't want people in my life that constantly make me want to bang my head on a wall.
Sep. 25th, 2014
I realised this morning that it's been two months and I've yet to feel anything that even remotely resembles Empty Nest Syndrome.
I hear reasonably regularly from the YoT. The latest email was to tell me he'd voted, and that he was disappointed in the outcome of the election because "John Key is still a giant nugget on a stick."
He has also informed me that he used his savings to buy a gaming laptop and it messed up his finances so he went hungry for a few days, that it was horrible and he never wants to experience that again. That his management course is done and his work passed one of their Food Safety test things with the top rating, and he's getting so much work that he can't predict when he and his girlfriend will be able to come for dinner. That flatting is more expensive than living at home but he likes being a proper grownup.
A proper grownup.
So yeah, not feeling the empty nest at all. When I think of the YoT, I'm mostly super proud and a little bit amazed that I brung up a kid that's articulate and has a job and savings to blow and is capable of maintainting a relationship. I know he's still got loads of time to make mistakes and give me grey hairs, but I think he's going to be ok.
Chuffed is the word I'd use, tbh.
Sep. 24th, 2014
I've been a heterosexual woman for just over a week.
It took Facebook about 20 minutes to notice I'd changed gender and start showing me pictures of men. It took them.. oh wait, they never got around to showing me men at all when I was a man-who-likes-men for a week. This suggests that either preferred sexuality is not relevant to the algorithm in the face of gender, and gender-normative stereotypes prevail - or that the advertisers themselves forget to specify that they want to target gay men as well as hetero women with their pictures of Blokes Waiting For You.
The other thing about these blokes that is quite different from the ladies I was shown when I was a hetero guy, is that my new lot of blokes are age-appropriate. I am being shown Over 40 Life Partners, almost exclusively. Now, it's not as though when I was a guy I was pretending to be 25 - I was still 44. But apparently if you're a woman, finding a bloke who's in your age group is so important as to be the only option you get given.
I am struggling to get my head around the reasons for this. Yes yes I know, stereotypes again, the bloke should always be older and aging is a much bigger deal to women... um, what? Why?
However, a few days ago something weird happened. It stopped showing me men. Like, completely. I haven't changed my relationship status, gender or sexuality. I haven't even been all smoochy with Dr Wheel (or anyone else) online. I did make a post about someone I overheard describing Bunnings as 'a man shop' but you'd think that'd give me more ads for man shops, right? Nope.
So what has Facebook decided I'm interested in now?
Money. And dresses. Not necessarily in that order. I think maybe the money thing is because over the election period I've talked a bit about political stuff, and politically-oriented people are assumed to have money? I don't know, but I know I've been offered credit cards, home loans, and 'ethical financial investment'. And dresses. And shoes.
Facebook has decided I'm rich, hasn't it?
Because I'm 44, heterosexual, single, and talk about politics. And possibly they know I have a mortgage because of crawly-spying that they do on visitation to other sites.
The weirdest thing? They show me different ads at home from what I see when at work. At work I get more money-oriented ads, at home I get more dresses and shoes.
I don't have the heart to tell them that both the trees they are barking up are the wrong ones. I do still like men, I'm unlikely to invest through a company that advertises on Facebook, and the shoes and dresses they are showing me are a) hideous and b) cheap, which implies that they are probably made in a place/way that clashes horribly with my supposed desire for ethical investment.
I kind of feel like I should start selectively clicking things to see if I can get my man shops back.
And then become a lesbian. Mwuahahahaa!
Sep. 22nd, 2014
10:14 am - The cynicism, it burns
Today we have a severe weather warning that includes gale force southerlies. Yesterday it was warm and sunny enough to guilt me into mowing the lawn.
So I've come to the realisation that it's unrealistic to hope that anyone will consider anything outside their own self-interest when voting. I realise that a considerable number of my friends and colleagues actually did do this, but the reality tends to be that most people will vote based on how their life is going, and not put a lot of consideration into how the lives of others might be affected by their vote. You could even say that I do this, because I want to pay more tax to bring about greater social equality, but that means that those earning more than me would also have to pay more tax, which some people consider to be an oppressive infliction of my values on their entrepreneurial spirit, or their deserved wealth.
I don't see how to change the view of someone who thinks greater social equality isn't as important as their freedom to keep all their earnings, or believes that more tax won't bring about greater social equality. The evidence says it does, but people don't tend to be interested in evidence when it comes to matters of politics. How to overcome this is IMO the key to the parties on NZ's left getting their shit together and changing some minds.
Anyway, on this business of people being self-serving, I watched the first-tier tickets for Kiwiburn sell out in three days flat last week.
Yay? Yes, yay. But the first-tier tickets are $30 cheaper than the next tier, and then there's a third tier another $30 more expensive. The first tier are limited, and they exist to allow people who otherwise couldn't afford it to attend Kiwiburn. Even the most expensive tickets are only $155, and in the grand scheme of festival things, that's the cheapest 5-day festival ticket you'll get in this country.
So when the first tier sold out in 3 days, I couldn't help but think that a lot of those tickets probably went to people who could have afforded to pay a higher price, at the expense of
someone who really needed them. This is purely conjecture by the way - it's entirely possible that all of the tickets were sold to people who are on benefits, or are students, or who earn the minimum wage. But I doubt it.
Three tickets were sold from the next tier up before the first-tier tickets sold out. And I think that's probably an accurate representation of how many people in our altruistic, inclusive Kiwiburn community actually do consider things outside their own self-interest when making purchases. That's 3/200.
This doesn't give me a lot of hope for altruism as a driver for the left vote in this country.
And yeah, it made me lose a bit of respect for the burner ethos, alongside really hoping that at least some of the tickets got to those who have a genuine need to save $30. I know at least one person who got one, who falls into this category. I really hope it was more.
Sep. 21st, 2014
07:17 am - Nope
In good times, people tend to vote left. In bad times, people tend to vote right. 49% of NZ just voted right.
Under MMP, this means a centre-right coalition will be formed and we'll get another 3 years of increasing inequality, increasing unemployment, and increasing national debt. I will be ok because I am in the demographic this government looks after.
But I didn't vote for this and I am utterly disgusted at what it says about the values of my fellow kiwis. And because it's about values, it's personal. Essentially, if you voted for this government we do not share enough values to sustain a friendship. Hardline maybe, but I am done with the unthinking, unfeeling majority (which, like Scotland, is barely a majority) being ok with a sociopathic forex trader shafting our country's vulnerable for the profit of his rich mates. I won't associate with that. I can't, not and live with myself.
Sep. 19th, 2014
So last night while upside down practicing low candle, Happy, who is nothing if not bloody distracting, asked me what I thought of Scottish Independence. He's English, so of course I was all "They should do it!" *ahem*
Not that I claim to be any kind of an expert on Scottish politics or governance, but I do live in a country with a similar population, that's been governing itself for quite a long time, and is doing ok (despite the current government rather than because of it). And I reckon that if self-governance is what the people of Scotland want, then it should happen. I also think Scotland should join the Nordic countries - but only if they let poor Estonia in too.
Meanwhile, in the garden..
The tulip display isn't quite as dense as I'd envisioned, but it's still pretty and at this time of year when there's not much else happening in the garden, they definitely cheer things up. At the moment there are stocks, the earliest geranium, daffodils, tulips, onion weed (damnit!), anemones, and the first of the carpet roses. But also, the delphiniums I planted last year are coming up again! I've always treated delphiniums as an annual, so I'm rapt to see them reviving, and hopefully I'll get more this year because they're mature. And some cosmos have self-seeded, which always makes me happy.
I get the feeling there might be some gardening this weekend.
And in broken arse news, my arse is still broken. It's been three weeks now and it's at the point where I'm allowed to start stretching it again. Stretching = pain, and slow, and harder to get it to where it needs to be. I'm told that this is all normal and that eventually I may even be able to get it further than before (because the tendon is now not as firmly attached), but at this point that seems like a future pipe dream. In the meantime, sitting hurts, bending hurts, and stretching hurts. Clearly I should just lie down all the time.
For those of you on my flist who are gamers, here's a survey about diversity in video games - gender, race, sexuality - and whether you think developers should be doing more to be inclusive.
Sep. 18th, 2014
Our country goes to the polls on Saturday.
A couple of years ago, the current government passed an act under urgency, against the recommendations of experts and a significant and vocal number of citizens, that came to be known as the Skynet Bill. It's an anti-piracy law that allows copyright owners to prosecute NZ citizens through ISPs, fine them up to $15,000, and has provision for anyone found to be infringing more than three times to have their internet cut off.
This week, Eminem's publishers sued the goverment for using his song "Lose Yourself" as part of their election campaign.
( Hilarity ensuedCollapse )
Meanwhile, I note that people wear their political party like a badge, in a similar way that people wear their football team. Only, political parties at least have some connection to a set of values, and thus to an identity. I am still vaguely weirded out by it, because identifying with a political party like that seems to instil a 'we' and 'you' mentality. 'We' are going to win, and then 'you' will be sad. Never mind that actually, the people who will be sad will be those who the policies don't help.
I have some difficulty with the knowledge that support for a political party is an indication of values. There are a couple of National voters, including one of the sign-waving ones, in my internet circles. Now that I know that about them, I think less of them. Not because they aren't nice people, but because of what it indicates about their values, and how different they are from my own. I haven't gone so far as to exclude them from my circles, because I believe that having people who disagree with me in my life is a good thing. But one of these people reposted that thing from the Prolife.org group about late term abortion, as if it were truth. And knowing that this person a) has values that support a bunch of policies that I despise, and b) is happy to repost outrageous claims from extremist groups without researching first? Well, it makes me think less of them.
I feel a bit bad about that and am trying to work out whether this is something I need to work on in terms of acceptance of other people's views. If political views are representative of values and values are part of identity, should I be accepting the people whose identities align with values I disagree with?
And last night, just to prove I'm getting old, I had a Get Off My Lawn moment - literally. A kid stole a flower from by our letterbox. That's ok, right? But 5 minutes later he was back for more. He glanced at our house and saw me in the window, watching him. I didn't shake my fist at him, but I did make it clear I could see what he was doing, and he ran off. I bet now he thinks I'm the crotchety old lady with the flowers.
Sep. 17th, 2014
08:40 am - Progress
Fibreoptics are fun! Also, the silicone worked (19 sec video).
Three days for it to cure, then I can move it around and get it ready for deployment.
Sep. 16th, 2014
10:19 am - Oh for fuck's sake
So last year when the government brought in laws expanding the powers of the state spying agency, the GCSB, John Key (the PM) was quoted widely as saying he would resign if the GCSB conducted mass surveillance.
Last night in a broadcast watched by over 20,000 people online, Glenn Greenwald and Edward Snowden provided evidence that the GCSB is performing mass surveillance of New Zealand citizens. In fact, the project was underway before the law change, Key knew about it, and the law was changed to allow it to proceed.
Today, Key released classified documents that he says would exonerate him. Never mind the weirdness of the PM being able to do that so quickly, why the docs were classified in the first place if it's that harmless to release them, and whether the PM protecting his own reputation is a good enough reason.
The documents appear to be about a completely different project, that has nothing to do with the one exposed by Greenwald and Snowden.
Step up, Key.
Sep. 15th, 2014
This weekend I have been playing with fibreoptics.
You see, grist found a place where you could buy fibreoptic fibres by the metre quite cheaply, so I grabbed a couple of 2m bundles for $20 and put them aside for when I had a project that might use them. Now, I have a project that might use them, so I set about seeing what can be done with the stuff.
( Fibreoptics are awesome!Collapse )
No, I'm not telling you what this is for, but it will be revealed in due course.
Meanwhile, for those who don't care about fibreoptics, have a photo of yesterday:
Planting bulbs in the rain in April paid off!
Sep. 12th, 2014
09:36 am - Gosh, another topical rant
Seems to be the week for it.
I have an alert set up in my inbox for any mention of legal highs in the local news aggregator, Stuff. I'm doing this because I intend to make the research project for my Honours degree an exploration of the legal high story in NZ, as told through the media, and show *insert something academic and useful to the world here* about the relationship between media, culture, and legislation. I'm really hoping that what I end up showing isn't how propaganda feeds on itself to block progressive laws from being effective, but it's becoming more and more likely that that's what will happen.
So anyway, I got a couple of alerts last night.
( On unintended consequences and how they feed fearCollapse )
It is extremely unfortunate that the majority of decent people in New Zealand have been indoctrinated to assume that any drug use (that isn't alcohol, tobacco, coffee or medication) is automatically bad, and that the unintended consequences of the way this law has been implemented have reinforced this view. I think it would be a shame if the NIMBY crowd were able to stir up enough anti-drug sentiment to cause the government to backtrack on what is currently one of the more progressive drug laws in the world. But that's what they are trying to do. I sympathise with them, I really do. It's not their fault that they've been fed drama through the media that hasn't been balanced with fact and evidence. Most people aren't educated on these topics (I plan to change that btw). They believe they are acting in the best interests of their communities, and on face value, they are. They don't want legal highs (except.. yadda yadda) and they don't care about the complex and arse-backwards-seeming array of evidence that suggests that legalising drugs will reduce the harms associated with them. Most people think banning works.
And everyone's ignoring the elephant in the room - that there are a bunch of things that have already been made illegal, that would very likely pass those 'low risk of harm' tests. LSD is one of them. And that terrifies people. It would be a shame if that fear was allowed to continue to prevail over evidence in this. Legal high policy is the battleground where evidence vs propaganda will be fought in this country, and right now, evidence is losing as a vicous cycle of fear feeding drama which feeds the media which feeds more fear, seems to be framing the debate.
What I'm thinking about this: How do we reframe it into something more constructive?
* I think marginalising drug use in this way also prevents proper education on how to stay safe and actually makes it more dangerous. Never mind that in our pill-popping, coffee-swilling culture where a bottle of alcohol is a standard gift for speakers at conferences, I think drug use is already well normalised. But that's another rant.
Sep. 11th, 2014
For those who aren't aware, New Zealand is having an election next weekend. If the current government gets back in it will be their third term - NZ has a three-year election cycle and it's not common for a government to last more than three terms.
I would like to see this government gone in a fortnight. They have moved our country a long way into neoconservative territory and the list of things that are getting worse not better is long. This article sums it up for the interested.
As usual when an election approaches, the soundbites are getting worse. Yesterday I saw two that made me spit tacks.
( Cut for abortion and penal populismCollapse )
I needed to get that out of my system. I know I'm preaching to the choir here. Mostly it just pisses me off how many otherwise intelligent people get sucked in by these populist soundbites and end up voting for or against parties based on them, without doing their research.
Please please PLEASE, make an educated vote not a manipulated one.
PS Finland's gonna look a whole lot better if the current government is re-elected next weekend.
Sep. 10th, 2014
09:38 am - Scenario
You've accidentally saved up $1000 by being over-careful with budgeting.
You've already decided that putting it on the mortgage is for sensible grownups, which you aren't.
You want to do something fun and exciting with it.
There are two of you and you live in New Zealand.
What would you do?
Sep. 9th, 2014
When we left off, I had just married my sweetie of three days, plantgirl, in a ceremony that somehow managed to involve fluorescent sheep and elephants on unicycles. As such whirlwind romances are wont to do, once the honeymoon-that-we-didn't-actually have was over, the bloom faded fast and after a week, I quietly divorced her.
Funny how Facebook doesn't auto-trumpet your divorce the way it does your engagement and/or wedding.
Anyway, so if you've been following along, you'll know that this move left me a single man. A heterosexual single man. Within 5 minutes of my divorce, I was receiving ads for Elite Single Women In Your Area, Local Ladies On Facebook, and chainsaws.
Yes, chainsaws. I am not sure what it is about being male, heterosexual and single that equals Wants Chainsaw, but there you go. Chainsaws.
I stayed heterosexual for a whole week, because I wanted to give it a fair go. The theme of the week was Ladies, Women, Girls, and Moving To Australia. The ads for Australia were less common than the girl ones, but still common enough to make me think that single men are a target for firms that want to sell one-way plane tickets. Hmm. I have to say that I haven't yet been a single heterosexual woman, so I can't say whether skipping the country is considered to be equally appealing for women, but I'll get there. Meanwhile, it also advertised the usual business courses, cars, and travel that one would expect to see when you're in the demographic with the most disposable income.
But being a straight bloke got boring after a while, so I decided to be bisexual. What changed? Well, I got more ads for jewellery, and more ads for women. It seems that as a bisexual man, you're considered to require twice as much dating, but the dating is still all women. WTF?
Bisexual. I don't think it means what Facebook thinks it means. It didn't matter what I said or did, the algorithm had it in its head that I like women and women only, and Sexy Chicks Want You Twice As Much Now, and I was a little taken aback by this because if you're allowed to specify your sexuality, why is this particular one not acknowledged in the advertising?
Yes I am complaining that targeted advertising is not targeting me enough. At least, when I'm a bisexual man it isn't. *ahem*
So I did what any sensible woman would do, and became a gay man. More straightforward for the algorithm, right? I did this yesterday. So far I have received ads for contact lenses, girls, jewellery, girls, how to get big muscles, girls, holidays, girls, men's clothing, and girls.
So either Facebook is trying to turn me straight, or it ignores sexuality entirely when targeting its advertising. I even made a post to try and jig it along a bit that went like this:
" I like men! men man hotmen boys hawt, men men men booty pecs biceps abs men hairy legs and chests gimme men oh yes men."
I got a couple of responses that made me think. One from the ever-awesome Dr Wheel: "If facebook was really smart it'd detect your frequent changes and realise you like playing games and doing experiments and then advertise qualitative surveying services! Or it'd decide you were confused about your gender/sexuality and had frequent short lived marriages and recommend counselling."
It's also true that both my marriages have been to women, so maybe there are some historical assumptions going on there too.
However, the other message was from a lesbian friend telling me that she only gets ads for men and we should swap. Heh. But this does seem to bear out the theory that Facebook advertising is based on gender and a very heteronormative assumption of sexuality, which you can't even override by declaring yourself.
Which kind of sucks in this day and age.
Oh yes, and apparently gay men need less sex than bisexual men, because I'm not getting ALL my ads being for ladies any more. WUT.
Anyway, I'll give it a few days to catch up. I still have a few iterations of gender and sexuality to go through before I'm done with this, and then I'll declare my actual status and see what happens. But that won't be anywhere near as interesting.
Sep. 8th, 2014
Since it seems to be the season for it, I've just cleaned up my friends list. I removed people who haven't posted in forever and who I've given up on ever coming back, people who I went "Who's that?" when I saw them there because it's been so long or we've never actually talked, and people that I didn't click with the way we thought we would. As usual, feel free to remove me if we don't talk, you skim past my posts cos WORDY, or any other reason. I won't be offended.
Meanwhile, that was a fantastic weekend.
But not only for that reason. I mean yes, Dr Wheel = hotness, and all that goes along with it. But something that had been missing from my life while he was away, that I hadn't realised was a thing until he came back, was the way he makes me laugh till I nearly wet myself on a daily basis.
Love that man.
Meanwhile, here's what grist did on the weekend:
He likes to test things to failure, so a failure means a successful test, and a post on StuffIDestroyed.
And I made this:
It's the gloves that carry the light that makes the ball glow, so I can wave my arms around all magicky like on stage. Or in my room, like I was last night.
[EDIT] As it turns out, the city I live in is actually the windiest city in the world. We joke about it, I didn't know it was actually true.
Sep. 5th, 2014
Sep. 4th, 2014
10:31 am - More ideas than time, damnit
Last night I sat down and drew stuff.
What I'm interested in doing is making clothing that blurs the boundary between clothes and costumes. My friends will know I've been doing this for a while, whenever I get struck with an idea. But lately I've started to have ideas more often, and to develop an aesthetic based on having made all this armour, and the desire to be able to run around, roll around, dance, be warm, have pockets, and look good, all at once.
What I'm realising is that men's clothing is boring. Not that this is news, I've written about it before. But there's a real challenge in coming up with interesting ideas for men - a lot of the things that make women's clothing more varied and interesting are considered, well.. feminine. And while there are some men who are keen to transgress gender norms in clothing, plenty aren't. Turns out this area interests me quite a lot as a challenge - interesting clothing for men that utilises elements that are usually considered feminine, while keeping them manly-looking.
So now I have three pictures in front and back view - 2 for men and 1 for MEEEE!!! (I often forget to make stuff for myself among all my fantasies of dressing up my friends). Oddly enough, the one for me incorporates elements that are usually considered masculine, and is the most armour-y looking one. Because that's how I roll, apparently.
Now to become independently wealthy so I have the time to make all these things... my current forward project list goes like this:
Minor finishes to Saarebas
Wendy's Horny Project
If I dedicated all my time to them, these would be finished by the end of October. Realistically it'll be more like November. Which leaves December and half of January for new designs.
Anyone out there want to become a patron for my 'art'? I promise you pictures of strangely-dressed hot people in return...
Sep. 3rd, 2014
So the doctor is sending me back to the osteopath. She reckons my iliac crests are lopsided and that I have an overdeveloped muscle on the right hand side of my back underneath my ribcage, and wants me to get a full postural assessment. Basically, I may have one leg longer than the other. Which makes me go "Ok, but how come it only started to hurt last year?"
Anyway, I'm feeling a bit like a ping pong ball with all this bouncing back and forth, but it does feel better to be doing something than not. And now I have steroid cream for what she says is eczema (again, wtf?) and some 'fatty emulsion' - yes it's really called that - for my hands, which are apparently super dry. I'm supposed to rub it on and it will... do something good for my skin? I will not be doing this immediately before acro.
( Ew yuckCollapse )
In other news, over the last few days I've been having a lightbulb moment, or series of moments, in which I've realised that if I can create replicas of other people's costume designs, I can also create replicas of my own. Like, everything I make is from pictures, right? I can look at something and work out how it's engineered, and then make it. I've been known to learn specific techniques just so I can make a particular thing, and I now have quite the repertoire of skills. So, if I can learn to make the pictures myself, I'm pretty much guaranteed to be able to make the ideas into reality.
Why did this not occur to me before?
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